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Well maybe not 'crystal'...

金曜日, 8月 26, 2005

I don't know why I even bothered to call him. And I don't know why I even bother to make an entry about it. But I guess it's natural I should want to rant about how disappointing last night's phone call turned out to be to a friend of mine, considering how close we were in high school.

I kind of did fuck up. Endlessly talking crap, laughing at stupid jokes I made (they were funny, btw. I could hear my friend laughing, well maybe not at all of them, but at leas half of them), not taking him seriously when he probably wanted me to. But hey that's the way we were in high school, right? The only thing that marks yesterday's call different from the others is that we were left with this really awkward feeling. A feeling that even made me think we never were good friends.

Maybe our friendship had long ago ended. Maybe we had lost everything in common a long long time ago. But then I think to myself, "Hey it's only a phone call after all. Thinking back, there were awkwards moments in high school but we stuck together (and not because we didn't have anyone else to hang out with but simply because we liked each other) till the end of it."

I really don't know. It's my belief that because we all change, drastically especially in the teens and 20s, even a period as short as a year could turn a crevice into a chasm IF YOU DON'T SEE EACH OTHER DURING THE ENTIRE PERIOD. And that's what's happened between us. I mean I don't know if the gap between us is know a chasm but we haven't seen each other for more than a year.

We'll see...
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