Crystal Clarity

シドニー滞在５日目。なんだか水が合わない。人がせかせかしてる所なんか東京にそっくり。
東京は好きなんだけど、シドニーはなんか違う。田舎だけどブリスベンの方が好き。

Oh did I mention I ran into Christoph the other day? I didn't screw up this time ;-) He's decently nice to me.

I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not there

Macy Grayの気持ちがよくわかる今日このごろ。

メモ：9/16　12時08分　west end ferry

昨日、大学で日陰に座って読書(授業のね)してたらキリスト教の勧誘が。
しかも二回も。。そんなに淋しそうに見えた？？
みんな一人一人、自分の神様がいて、それでいいじゃない。ね☆

I guess Christoph was just a catalyst. It was bound to come sooner or later. I'm deep in thought reflecting on myself. So don't blame me for not being interactive and looking depressed. Cause that's how it's supposed to be! It's no longer about him, it's about me. Well maybe not. It'd be a lie to say that I don't miss him and it'd make me happy to some extent if he was here. But it's really not only about him anymore.

昨日の携帯メールのやりとり。

me: I feel so pathetic. still not over Christoph. a friend told me i look depressed. it's this feeling that i could've done better. though i don't have a vagina i could've been good friends w/ him, right? i wasted the opportunity by being such a jerk to him. now there's little chance i can make up for it..

friend: Oh dear ken. dont think about what ifs, ull go crazy. chin up :}

Well yeah it's no use looking back. Good things come when you least expect them, right?

Letter Read in heavy rotation. A big thumbs-up for MP3Search.Ru for having Rachael Yamagata.

I just got back from a field trip yesterday. 5 days on Heron island. 5 days was more than enough for me to fall in love. First crush since I came here. Still trying to figure this out.

Behave, just behave.

Naked Chefに出てるJamie Oliverかわいい！
でもnakedって言うからには↓位はやらないと。ね♪

*Currently listening to Boulevard Of Broken Dreams*

I went to a BBQ party at my friend's place last night to see fireworks. They were shot up in the middle of the city and we were on the other side of the river so our sight was blocked by the office buildings and that sucked. But I wasn't really expecting anything from Aussie fireworks so that's that.

We then went clubbing in the city. The guys in the club were, ah, gorgeous. Too bad it wasn't a gay club. Anyway it's a straight club so there isn't much I can do, right (I did touch a few cute butts, though)? So I just stuck with my girlfriends and their girlfriends and danced in a circle. We didn't flirt or anything but I felt like there was this non-verbal communication going on between us. I felt connected. Friendship was deepened.

Being gay definitely makes it easier to make friends with girls. But just friends. Not that I wanna have sex or be in a relationship with them. I'm only in that with guys. Friends are great, don't get me wrong. Just that love and passion are as important as friendship for me.

Ok, so I did it again. It's quarter to 6 (in the MORNING!!) and I probably won't be in bed until 6. Someone please come take the laptop away from me so that I wouldn't be used by the internet instead of me using it. It's one of the most unproductive ways of killing time. Who said I have to kill time "productively"? But you know, it's simply not healthy.

I'd brush my teeth and tuck myself straight into bed if it weren't for the goddamn slow dialup. Who'd expect a 9.6MB music file to take more than 30 mins to download?? Sigh.. I thought dialup was showcased in a museum of internet history with the caption that reads "driven millions of people mad with its extreme slowness but thanks to the invention of ADSL it's now a relic of the past"

2 percent to go...

Damn, I missed the 7.21 ferry. I could have made it but 1) I was too lazy to pack and leave the library 2) there was and still is this balding-but-cute-enough-to-counter-the-baldness guy sitting diagonally across me 3)I'd totally forgotten that Australian Idol was on at 7.30 (arrrr, I really hope it's an hour show and *James* sticks around) So here I am typing typing.

The balding guy just stood up, and gee, he has a nice body unlike most of the cute aussie boys that disappoint me with their unflat bellies. Next ferry leaves at 7.46. I might stay on after all. 3D hunks are better than 2D ones, right?